Ever since the year has begun, this is something I have been noticing through my observations & experiences, that a common lesson is being imbibed, through different places & directions : “You are enough as you are”. At the Kumbh Mela that I had recently visited, I got the same feeling after taking a dip at the Sangam, like I was coming in contact with the core of my being and it felt great & enough. As if everything else in life was just needless effort.
The other day, I was watching a random video of Kalki Koechlin’s Goa House Tour, and this clip spoke to me. I did not expect to find this depth in this video, honestly!!
A lot of times, I get overwhelmed by this desire to do something out in the world, to bring about a change and often, this feeling seems bigger than me and disturbs me. Then, I continue doing the tasks that are needed, living the practical reality that is in front of me, and that feeling subsides a bit. I am slowly coming to realise that those urges or desires or strong feelings (however you describe them) may be a manifestation of my ego. Not saying that people cannot change the world, many people have done it, but did that desire occur to them without an actual problem at hand? I think it should only happen in the case when there is a practical problem to solve and a strategy in place. The desire alone feels like an ego manifestation again. This is what I understood from the clip above too.. Who are we to think we can do this? Doesn’t mean we should stop doing what drives us, but this thought or desire without a reality aligned to it feels weird.
Krishna Das, before all his chanting sessions, says that this is a practice of going inwards, returning to the self.. Because in the modern day, we are living in our head space by default. All this “Being Yourself” campaigning that we are exposed to also speaks to the mind and not to the real ‘self’. I had always taken it to mean that “being yourself” means to be a certain way, but this gives rise to an identity, an ego, a separate sense of self. Whereas being yourself is a lot simpler than that, because it means to just be!! There is nothing to do, really. Nothing to think either. You are always being yourself. You are being yourself even right now as you’re reading this. Because who else can you be, anyway?
My conclusion is that campaigning just makes us think about something that we are not supposed to think about :/
It can make us develop some “self” which we think is our ‘self’ and thus create a separation within us and with others.
I think the messaging should rather be, “You are enough as you are”. Because a lot of times, we are trying to be someone, even when we think we are being “ourselves”.. as we are still imagining that we are being some “self” which we think is *our* self. But, but, but.. we are always ourselves, even if we are not aware of it!
So, instead of all this, I think we need to just remind ourselves that we are enough as we are. This can help us truly ‘be’.. which is anyway the real meaning of being ourselves! Because who else can you be? 😀
Hope this wasn’t confusing.. 😀 Let me know in the comments 🙂